What's wrong with me? please spend time to read this, therapists are welcome...?

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Miles Thov

You know, over the years, I take my friendship with my best friend seriously.

Well, I consider him as a best friend, but I don't know what he thinks of me, all I know is he shared his secret with me more than with anyone else. And he knows that I don't like the crowd, I don't to be around with too many people. He have friends of his own, which I don't really like because the way that they behave toward me when he's around is completely different from whenever he's not around. I am considered to be a very smart student in class, it's just that I'm lazy, and he knows that, though he always remain on top of the class while I'm remain in middle but he's too knows that it wasn't because he was naturally smart but because he spend time in front of books 13hrs a day, even Sunday, that's why he for once never look down on me because he realize that I don't need to put as much as attention as he is, yet I could beat him easily. We became really good friends, it's all changed when he started to tutor Physic which is his favorite subject. Most of his friends attended there while I don't because I don't like them and knowing that I could get pass physic easily. And when his friends became really good, they treated me like a fool whenever he's not around, they never talked to me or answer to me whenever I asked, they only talk and play with me whenever he's around knowing that no matter what he'd chose to be on my side.

But after they became really good, they started to hang out more and more, eventually I felt that my best friend is now only hang with good grade student, he have party with them without telling me, he goes on vocation with letting me know. Even when he threw a going away party(he was going to study in Australia), I wasn't invited nor been told.

After learning all the things he did without letting me know, I felt disappointed. So I decided not to see him when he was leaving to Australia by email telling him "All of your best friends are there, you have enough supporter more than you'd ever wanted, I guess my absent wouldn't end the world for you, good luck and have a safe trip there, farewell my best friends" and he's reply "I understand"

But when he was coming here on his birthday which I don't know, I emailed him, thought that he was in Australia but he was here all the time, I didn't know and he even throw a birthday party without letting me know. But he came and visit me after his birthday and when I couldn't hold it in, I asked why he didn't let me know that he was throwing a party, he said "most of other friends there and I know you won't go" and I said "of course I wouldn't go and cause a disaster at your party but what harm comes from a little invitation from an old friend that been gone for almost a year and since you can handle me not going there, can't you handle me not going after being invited your party?" He said nothing, when he left to Australia, I didn't see him off again but I was angry.

Now he's back again celebrate new year with his other friends without me knowing. But he wanted to meet me, I think that since we no longer best friend and became two people who barely know each other. I told him that "Why bother? nothing's gonna change, you've changed and that's all it matter to me, I love you my friend but I really do hate what you became. I am too, going to live in Texas next year, we might not ever see each other again, let's just keep it that way"

Do you think I'm doing the right thing? do you have any idea what's going on with me?
Am I make too much big deal out of those things he did without me knowing?
please tell me what you thinks.

Thanks in advance...
I do take this friendship serious enough even to felt betrayed after learning the truth of what he's done. He's do try to hide it, it's just that he never knows that I keep track all of his information in order to see how he's been doing. I wouldn't know the truth until I became an alias and try to be friend with him in facebook which is off limit to outsider and those who not friends. He knows that I hate facebook and only play Hi5, that's why he doesn't have a Hi5 but choose to have face book instead, I was also the one who taught him too. He keeps track of study but I keep tracks of games and movie and internet all the time, that's why I was ranked as middle class in High School, I'm just doing the school work good enough to get by. And "You are my very best and dearest friend, I am so lucky to have met you, I am so grateful that we became best friends" it's what he keep written in any email or sms that he send me.

I once called and asked him if he want to go to supermarket to eat
I do take this friendship serious enough even to felt betrayed after learning the truth of what he's done. He's do try to hide it, it's just that he never knows that I keep track all of his information in order to see how he's been doing. I wouldn't know the truth until I became an alias and try to be friend with him in facebook which is off limit to outsider and those who not friends. He knows that I hate facebook and only play Hi5, that's why he doesn't have a Hi5 but choose to have face book instead, I was also the one who taught him too. He keeps track of study but I keep tracks of games and movie and internet all the time, that's why I was ranked as middle class in High School, I'm just doing the school work good enough to get by. And "You are my very best and dearest friend, I am so lucky to have met you, I am so grateful that we became best friends" it's what he keep written in any email or sms that he send me.

I once called and asked him if he want to go to supermarket to eat
ice-cream, it's was a holiday and it's what we always do on holidays but he said he sick and want to sleep, so I went alone in the morning but I forgot DVDs that I bought at usual place, so I went and get it in the evening and when I walk down the stair I saw him and with his new friends, so I smiled and hurried home, I think it was when he got home, that's when he called and talked about a lot of things and I know that he just want to know if I'm angry, I maintain my emotion and said nothing. But in the morning when we go to school, he saw, he must realize that I was angry and disappointed, so he said he was sorry and I said "Sorry! You doesn't seem like one when I saw you yesterday" and he turned around and said "It's my life, I can do what I want". I was so angry at him, I even decided to change class room to be away from him, but we both were so close with the home room teacher and she's too knows that he and I are really get along. She must have told him when I decided to change r
room, we were in class A and I decided to go to Class J which is in a different building from him. He called and try to convince me to stay but I determine to change, I thought "if he is that kind of person, then I don't want association". That night my dad called me and talked to me about him, how's he tries to get me to stay in Class A. I was surprised, you know, we close but I move away from my family to go to Phnom Penh to study. He never knew my dad and we never talked about our family, and I never give my dad number to him but he managed to find it, it's must come from our home room teacher which she would have found it in my school application form. I'm surprised that he braved enough even to talk to my dad.

That's when I realized how sorry he was, he just don't know how to show it. I decided to give it a try and we became good again, even better than we were, he was always come to my house around holidays but he still hang with his new friends and I made it very clear that he
can do anything he wants but just don't lie to me and he's agree. Everything went good until he was about to leave to Australia, that's when I chose to be an alias to surprised him in his face book and found his journal of where he have gone with his new friends, and found the pictures of them partying for his going-away party. I decided not to see him off, figured it's not worth it. After he's there he email and checking every week but when he here, he threw a party without me again.

So, can i ask how's that my fault???

Answer
You considered him your best friend but maybe he didn't. Anyways, you guys have gotten less close , kind of your fault if you ask me. You did the right thing since you guys do not have strong bond of frienship anymore. But it is your fault, you guys drifted in the first place,i guess you did not take this relationship seriously enough.

What do you think of requesting guests pay admission in lieu of a birthday gift?

Inquisitiv

Our daughter's turning 4 and we love celebrations and good friends, but don't put a lot of value into material possessions and hope our kids grow to feel the same. We want to invite we know and love with kids under 5, and I was surprised how quickly a guest list of 50 kids came to be without thinking too hard... I'm sure there's more. The local gymnastics place is huge and a lot of fun and only costs $10 per child.

What is your opinion of us inviting people and somehow request that they don't bring gifts, but pay the cost of admission instead? How would we word that in an invitation? We'd like to serve cake but not have any party favors.

I don't want to be collecting money at the door. We're web business people, and have a personal website and can easily make a subpage for her birthday party where friends can both rsvp and pay $10/child at the same time.

How do you think this would all go? I know breaking social norms and expectations is often a etiquette risk, but we just want to celebrate our daughter's life in as fun a way as possible and not leave anyone out.
Please don't just tell me that it's rude and tell me why it's rude. I obviously don't get it. I'd be pretty happy to not have to worry about picking out a gift and wrapping it and pay admission instead, including paying online. I'd also be pretty happy to get an invitation that I wouldn't have gotten if it were a smaller party. We would expect that parents stick around for the hour and a half with their pretty young kids.

I understand that you think this is rude and I'm glad that you're saying it, because that's why I'm asking, but instead of telling me how it's normally done please tell me what I don't understand about it being wrong so I don't accidentally offend anyone.
I should also add that these are OUR friends with kids under 5. We like any excuse to see our friends. She doesn't really have her own group of friends other than our family and friends because she's not in school yet. The gymnastics place is so big parents and their kids can run around together, which is how it's done during the gym's open play session.

That wasn't my question anyway! I was asking how I can politely handle the $ part of it.

Answer
You should be paying the admission fee, if you want to have the party there.

Why is it wrong, for to to ask them to pay it? Because YOU are inviting them.

Not if they choose to say NO, i can not come. They offend you. Yet if they say yes, they are obligated to pay an admission cost.
Its hardly the way to treat your guest.

In actual fact, here in Australia i been to many of these childrens parties at childrens playgrounds. Even held some myself for our child. Everytime, theparent pays the admission fee for every single child attending.
The guests bring gifts.
That is usually the norm.
Choosing to go against the norm, is choosing to possibly offend. Now why would you want to put a "friend" in that situation.

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